I found, with my own life it was very rare that I was able to tell the story of my womb grief from beginning to end. There can be a feeling of social taboo, a sense of shame and even a belief that your story is not important. Acknowledging your dreams, your conception, your loss, and the feelings attached to them are not intended to re-traumatize you. This blog post, is an invitation to gift you a voice and honor your journey by acknowledging it, recognising just how big and hard your loss is, and inviting compassion and pause to validate that your feelings are important.
My wish in this post is to invite the light of your presence to melt away the darkness of shame by acknowledging your story.
Womb Grief Workbook Introduction
If you are new to the Womb Grief Workbook posts, these blogs aims to validate your dreams, You, and the unborn child. Womb grief is real, for every woman who has experienced a miscarriage, still birth, abortion, or infertility. What you have experienced is now part of your life story, it does not need to be hidden away with shame, it needs to be honored and tenderly nurtured. There is no time-line for grief, guilt or shame, there is no rush to ‘get over it’, or pretend nothing of it. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, there is only love, compassion and honour. These blog posts are intended to support you in your grieving process, invite you to connect with your Spirit Baby and create space for love and healing.
So often we have to get on with life after a great loss, and the trauma circulates in our mind, heart and body looking for an escape. If you are willing to stop and let your story be written, you may find a sense of peace, compassion and acceptance that what you have been through is big, important and worthy of the space and time to acknowledge it. Let yourself be as authentic, heart felt and unfiltered. If this feels hard to do alone, then invite someone you trust to support you in re-telling the story, and gifting it the presence you deserve.
7. Your birth story
Either invite a friend to listen, record your voice, or journal your story.
Here are some example guiding questions to support your enquiry and encourage you.
How did you imagine your pregnancy would be?
What was your pregnancy like?
How did you learn of your infertility, pregnancy loss, or make the decision to have an abortion?
What is the story of your miscarriage, stillbirth, abortion or recent attempt to conceive?
Who were you with? How did you react?
What would you have done differently if you could?
What have you made this story mean about you?
Was / is there a feeling of blame?
Are you able to feel compassion for the woman who's story this belongs to? If not, what would you need to help you here?
The final step: If this was another woman's story, what would you want that woman to know from a place of compassion? Can you include that message?
My Story: I have included a few of my stories in my blog posts. Some of them are messy, and some are poetic. You are welcome to read them and or email me to ask further questions. Blog Posts
Trauma permenantly changes us
This is the big, scary truth about trauma: there is no such thing as “getting over it.” The five stages of grif model, marks universal stages in learning to accept loss, but the reality is in fact much bigger: a major life disruption leaves a new normal in its wake. There is no “back to the old me”
Read Full Womb Grief Workbook Posts
Part 1 to 10
For further support please contact Adria Ellis for local or online sessions, workshops and retreats.