Grief is a journey with no determined end. It is not a feeling that we are meant to get over, or fix, it is a complex process of lost love that holds hands with shock, denial, anger, jealousy, bargaining, depression, loneliness, shame, and self-blame. But it is not defined by these stages. Grief is the loss of love that changes our lives forever. It shape shifts our dreams, affects our hopes and transforms us. It comes in waves, washes through us and ebbs its hold, only to return again.
Grief is a measure of your dream, your hope and your love.
The loss of your Spirit Baby, your dream of mothering a child, will never leave, it is a finely woven story into the tapestry of your life, transforming all of who you are. It is ok to grieve, to surrender to the heart ache and to hold sacred what you loved dearly. These blog posts are an offering to support you in holding onto love as you mourn your loss.
You may wish to journal as you work through these invitations as a way to gift voice and align with your heart
1. Setting your Intention
What value are you seeking for you right now?
What do you want to bring into your life by committing to reading these blogs on womb grief?
I ask this as a way to support you in noticing what you are seeking.
I remember when I started looking for information online, I was looking for a message from someone who had a miscarriage and not had children afterwards. I wanted to find support and validation in another woman’s story so that my loss felt acknowledged and my feelings felt valid. I celebrate women who have had successful pregnancies after a loss, and honor their pain and grief equally, however, at the time of my first miscarriage I was longing to know that I was not alone.
Setting your intention will help guide you when you need it most. What are you seeking?
2. Setting up the alter
Each blog is an invitation to journey into a tender place within your heart. The significance in creating a sacred space for you and your spirit baby is to create somewhere that you can go to honour your loss, your love and your connection with the unborn child.
I recommend creating an alter with something significant on it that represents the love and hope you felt for your Spirit Baby. This alter may be inside and include a flower, a symbol or statue, a photo of your ultrasound, or outside such as a garden bed, a tree, a special place in nature etc. Once this space is set up, you are encouraged to return to it whenever you wish to light a candle and share your heart, your tears, your prayers and your love.
3. Feeling is healing
After the shock of a miscarriage, an abortion, a stillbirth, and infertility we can experience fatigue, nausea, lethargy, loss of appetite, disassociation, lowered immunity and pain in your heart. Grief and trauma also affect the way we think and feel. Not only are we often faced with the emotional loss, but we can often experience brain fog, disassociation, lack of self trust, a loss of goals and meaning, forgetfulness and lack of concentration.
One way to come back to you, is to notice what you are feeling. This may sound easier than it is; however, I encourage you to stop and notice the sensations, the temperature, and your thought pattern as this kind of presence is a way to support you in integrating and honoring your healing.
What are you noticing about your body, mind and emotions right now, in this moment?
Gifting space to name what you notice in your body and mind, can help normalize your experience, and invite compassion and healing. Write them down in a diary or journal and gift yourself presence.
Read Full Womb Grief Workbook Posts
Part 1 to 10
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