I found this article early this year, when I was feeling at a loss as to what to do with my love, my grief and my heartache. When i read this I realized there is an opportunity for us to find ritual in our grieving and just how important a ceremony is to acknowledge life and love. This article has been one of the inspirations for me to offer and support others in finding ritual and ceremony thorough their journey of an unborn child, and or loss of their own inner child's innocence. With over 15 years of experience as a practitioner and facilitator, I am honored to be weaving Eastern and Western principles together to support women. Adria Ellis
"When we lived in Japan, my husband took me on a date to a cemetery. In his defense, it was a famous cemetery in an Ewok-worthy forest on Mount Koya known for gimmicky headstones in the shapes of rockets and coffee cups.
Yet they didn’t interest me as much as the hundreds of stone Jizo statues that lined the wooded paths. These small figurines dressed in red caps and bibs honor the souls of babies who are never born. Crowding their feet are toys and snacks left by parents to comfort their children in the afterlife. Sometimes a woman would turn away as we approached her on the path. Sometimes the flowers would still be fresh.
My husband, Brady, and I were young enough then to assume that tragedies happened to other people and not to us. This was a belief we carried for years until the day we held hands on an ultrasound table watching the technician turn off the monitor and tiptoe out of the room. A miscarriage at 10 weeks produces no body, so there would be no funeral. “What do we even do?” I asked the doctor."